Vietnam etiquette for visitors: temples, tables, tipping and Tet

Where Vietnamese social etiquette comes from

Wikivoyage says Confucianism forms the basis of Vietnamese social etiquette, a legacy of long Chinese influence, and that Mahayana Buddhism and Taoism play an integral role in religious practice. It adds that over 80 per cent of Vietnamese practise Buddhism to some degree, often blended with Taoism, Confucianism and folk religion.

Wikipedia's article on the culture of Vietnam says communication in traditional Vietnamese families tends to follow a top-down stereotype and is highly hierarchical, with the father holding the biggest role, though this has started to shift towards a parent-child relationship. In rural areas, three or four generations often live under one roof. It adds that most Vietnamese, regardless of religious denomination, practise ancestor worship, and most have an ancestor altar at home or at their business.

What does that mean for a visitor? Respect for age, family and ritual runs through daily life. You do not need to master it. Showing that you are trying counts for a lot, and Wikivoyage notes that Vietnamese people appreciate any effort to learn their language.

Greeting people and showing respect to elders

Hierarchy shows up in small ways. Wikivoyage notes that at Tet good wishes pass from more junior to more senior people, while gifts of lucky money pass from senior to junior. For a visitor, the practical lesson is to let older people lead: greet them first, let them start the meal, and avoid contradicting them in front of others.

Vietnamese is tonal and largely monosyllabic, according to Wikipedia, and Wikivoyage says most Vietnamese seldom experience foreign accents, so learners may find it frustrating that no one can understand them. Patience with that, on both sides, goes a long way. Learn a few greetings, repeat them clearly, and smile if you are misunderstood.

Regional differences exist. Wikivoyage describes a North-South cultural divide, with northerners described as more ideological and southerners as more business-minded, a generalisation that will not apply to every person you meet.

Pagodas, temples and what to wear

The UK government's travel advice says to cover your shoulders and knees at religious or cultural sites and to respect local customs and dress in appropriate clothing. Signs at a site usually state the rules, and it is sensible to carry a light scarf or long-sleeved top.

Wikivoyage says it is customary to remove your shoes before entering a private home, and often in certain traditional accommodations or temples. Look for a pile of shoes by the door and do the same.

Wikivoyage also notes that genuine temples will never use high-pressure tactics to solicit donations, and that donations are to be placed in temple donation boxes. It also says many people visit pagodas during Tet, so expect them to be busy then.

Eating, drinking and being a guest

Food is central to social life. Wikivoyage says that when friends get together, they eat together. Wikipedia describes a cuisine based on rice and fish sauce, with many vegetables and little oil, flavoured with sweet, spicy and sour notes and with mint and basil, and says chopsticks are a common utensil.

On drinking, Wikivoyage says it is considered necessary to drink when a toast is proposed, and polite to top up other people's beer or ice before re-filling your own. It adds that rice alcohol is commonly served to male guests and visitors. If you would rather not drink, follow your host's cue and decline politely.

The UK government warns about the drinks themselves: it advises avoiding liquor from street vendors or strangers, and says methanol poisoning cases have come from drinks bought in licensed bars, shops and hotels in tourist areas. If you are cooking for yourself during a longer stay, cooking in an aparthotel kitchen explains what to expect.

Tipping, bargaining and paying in cash

Wikivoyage says tipping is not practised by the Vietnamese themselves and is generally not expected, and that it is perfectly acceptable not to tip. It suggests carrying small denominations, noting that drivers often are, or pretend to be, short on change.

It also says payment is almost always expected in dong only, especially outside major tourist areas. Carry some local cash for markets and small shops, and check what a taxi or restaurant accepts before you start.

On bargaining, Wikivoyage says walking away often does the trick, if you are willing to actually walk away. It adds that foreigners are likely to get overcharged on local buses, and that hotels and guesthouses steer guests to pricier bus options because their commission is bigger.

Where etiquette meets the law

Wikivoyage says yelling is highly insulting to Vietnamese and may prompt a violent response, and that altercations can be avoided easily by showing courtesy and tolerating cultural differences. It also says insulting national heroes such as Ho Chi Minh and Vo Nguyen Giap is illegal. Wikipedia describes Vietnam as a unitary communist state.

The UK government's advice lists several rules that visitors should know. You must always carry photographic ID, and a printed copy of your passport photo page and visa is accepted. Do not take photos near military bases. Avoid all protests and demonstrations, and be careful about criticising the government. Drug penalties are severe, including for cannabis, and vapes are banned both for purchase and for bringing into the country. The same advice describes Vietnam as generally tolerant and progressive for LGBT+ travellers, while noting that same-sex marriage is not recognised in law.

This is general information from published advice, which changes. Read the current version on your own government's site before you travel, and the national tourism authority's site for official visitor information.

Tet, storms and the calendar

Wikivoyage describes Tet as mostly a private family celebration. In the first three days daytime hours are for visiting: relatives on the first day, closest friends and important colleagues on the second, everyone else on the third. Nearly all shops and restaurants close for three days, though hotels operate as usual. Its advice is to get settled somewhere at least two days before the new year, because transport and hotels fill up, especially in smaller towns.

That closure is one honest reason to consider a base with a kitchen at that time of year: see long-stay apartments in Hanoi or apartments with a kitchen in Ho Chi Minh City. Check the lunar calendar for the year's dates.

The weather matters for manners too, since plans change. The UK advice says tropical storm season runs from May to November, and Wikivoyage describes a hot dry season in the south from March to April, a rainy season from May to November and a cool dry season from December to February. For month-by-month planning, see the best time to visit Vietnam.

Planning a longer visit

Vietnam's cities each have their own pace. Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City are the two biggest, and Da Nang, Hoi An and Da Lat suit different tastes. See Vietnam for the full list. If you are building a longer trip around Asia, aparthotels in Asia for long stays and best countries for backpacking may help, and the safest country in Asia covers a separate question.